You're welcome. And can I say I admire you for achieving this? I mean, the will to do what pleases you, and the understanding that even though disappointing, the fact you might not get backup on your choices from your parents isn't reason enough to stop trying and believing in yourself. I wish I were that strong.
Thing is, though... How can you rebel against an excess of love and not feel shitty about yourself (talking about me, here)? I do know my parents love me and want what's best for me, but their constant criticism of everything I do, love, get passionate about, and my weight still undermines me so much, I end up having close to no faith in myself at all. I do know they love me, and I do know I shouldn't feel bad about choosing to live for myself despite the disappointment I'm causing them, but I'm still too conflicted about all of it to be really happy about it. And I certainly can't find the strength to believe in myself.
So I understand what you might be going through, but I also admire you for trying to keep your strength. And I hope you never lose faith in yourself because you're obviously well worth that faith... if you know what I mean.
And thanks about the icon. I kind of like it, too, lol. That picture held something of the attention-seeking-diva, but with a great deal of tenderness in it. And look! I finally made myself a proper Lance icon! Though all I needed was the picture. No caption could have added much to it. lol.
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Date: March 5th, 2003 10:45 am (UTC)Thing is, though... How can you rebel against an excess of love and not feel shitty about yourself (talking about me, here)? I do know my parents love me and want what's best for me, but their constant criticism of everything I do, love, get passionate about, and my weight still undermines me so much, I end up having close to no faith in myself at all. I do know they love me, and I do know I shouldn't feel bad about choosing to live for myself despite the disappointment I'm causing them, but I'm still too conflicted about all of it to be really happy about it. And I certainly can't find the strength to believe in myself.
So I understand what you might be going through, but I also admire you for trying to keep your strength. And I hope you never lose faith in yourself because you're obviously well worth that faith... if you know what I mean.
And thanks about the icon. I kind of like it, too, lol. That picture held something of the attention-seeking-diva, but with a great deal of tenderness in it. And look! I finally made myself a proper Lance icon! Though all I needed was the picture. No caption could have added much to it. lol.