I mean, the will to do what pleases you, and the understanding that even though disappointing, the fact you might not get backup on your choices from your parents isn't reason enough to stop trying and believing in yourself.
See, thing is, I'm not like that on things that actually require me to be brave. Honestly, if I could do it, I'd either take a semester off or just temporarily suspend the college thing right now, and go out to a real city, someplace like Los Angeles or New York, maybe even Denver or Atlanta, and see about making it work for myself there, doing something real. The actual going out and finding jobs, an apartment, all that isn't what worries me - what does is that my parents would outright refuse to support such (perceived) blatant lunacy on my part, and I don't just mean financially. So while I may have no compunction about dancing along to songs as I'm waiting in line at the bank or doing things they either don't understand or approve of, I'm not to the point where I have the gall to venture to the edge of their sensibilities.
How can you rebel against an excess of love and not feel shitty about yourself (talking about me, here)?
It sucks and is fucking next to impossible. Personally, it helps a lot that I don't live with them anymore and the phone calls are about three times a month. They do love you. They do want what's best for you, but what you have to realize about that is that they want what they think is best for you. And just like I may've liked tennis once, my father doesn't understand that I do not now wish to make a career of it. Parents very often don't grow with their children. They impose their own ideals and try to mold you in the way that they think would be the "best," whatever that means. Finding people, or just one important person, who believes in you and supports your endeavours is key, I think. Standing alone is the hardest thing in the world, and someone else can help with that a lot, but in the end, what you have to know for yourself is that what you're doing is making you happy. That's all.
And I hope you never lose faith in yourself because you're obviously well worth that faith... if you know what I mean.
I appreciate that, thank you. Though honestly, there's no need to qualify emotion where I'm concerned. It's a game I'm tired of people playing, and one that often makes me tear at my hair while reading popslash specifically because the boys can be so damn stubborn about admitting their emotions to themselves, much less each other. The world needs to be okay with needing and giving hugs and being honest when it counts. So, thank you for your forthrightness and faith.
That picture held something of the attention-seeking-diva, but with a great deal of tenderness in it.
That's Justin in a very eloquent way right there. He has faith in himself, he does, he probably never thought he wouldn't make it, but there's something of the approval-seeking beast that lurks within him despite all the success. And he truly is a sweet boy, raised to be kind and modest, which he still manages to be in his own way.
And look! I finally made myself a proper Lance icon! Though all I needed was the picture. No caption could have added much to it.
Lance is such a handsome, happy-go-lucky goober. I just want to kick everyone who gets him down, you know? Yeesh. All these references to violence, but truly, I'm not a lash-out type of person at all. It's all talk, unless they were in front of me, and then stand back everyone else if you don't want blood on your shirts because some of the words I'd have to say to them would have that effect. *snuggles Lance* Love the boy so much. It kills me every time there's a setback as far as the flight, the whole deal with On the Line breaks my heart in more ways than I can express, and just the general tragic hero thing he's come to personify makes me ache. Such a smart, funny, savvy boy, and yet. Grr.
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See, thing is, I'm not like that on things that actually require me to be brave. Honestly, if I could do it, I'd either take a semester off or just temporarily suspend the college thing right now, and go out to a real city, someplace like Los Angeles or New York, maybe even Denver or Atlanta, and see about making it work for myself there, doing something real. The actual going out and finding jobs, an apartment, all that isn't what worries me - what does is that my parents would outright refuse to support such (perceived) blatant lunacy on my part, and I don't just mean financially. So while I may have no compunction about dancing along to songs as I'm waiting in line at the bank or doing things they either don't understand or approve of, I'm not to the point where I have the gall to venture to the edge of their sensibilities.
How can you rebel against an excess of love and not feel shitty about yourself (talking about me, here)?
It sucks and is fucking next to impossible. Personally, it helps a lot that I don't live with them anymore and the phone calls are about three times a month. They do love you. They do want what's best for you, but what you have to realize about that is that they want what they think is best for you. And just like I may've liked tennis once, my father doesn't understand that I do not now wish to make a career of it. Parents very often don't grow with their children. They impose their own ideals and try to mold you in the way that they think would be the "best," whatever that means. Finding people, or just one important person, who believes in you and supports your endeavours is key, I think. Standing alone is the hardest thing in the world, and someone else can help with that a lot, but in the end, what you have to know for yourself is that what you're doing is making you happy. That's all.
And I hope you never lose faith in yourself because you're obviously well worth that faith... if you know what I mean.
I appreciate that, thank you. Though honestly, there's no need to qualify emotion where I'm concerned. It's a game I'm tired of people playing, and one that often makes me tear at my hair while reading popslash specifically because the boys can be so damn stubborn about admitting their emotions to themselves, much less each other. The world needs to be okay with needing and giving hugs and being honest when it counts. So, thank you for your forthrightness and faith.
That picture held something of the attention-seeking-diva, but with a great deal of tenderness in it.
That's Justin in a very eloquent way right there. He has faith in himself, he does, he probably never thought he wouldn't make it, but there's something of the approval-seeking beast that lurks within him despite all the success. And he truly is a sweet boy, raised to be kind and modest, which he still manages to be in his own way.
And look! I finally made myself a proper Lance icon! Though all I needed was the picture. No caption could have added much to it.
Lance is such a handsome, happy-go-lucky goober. I just want to kick everyone who gets him down, you know? Yeesh. All these references to violence, but truly, I'm not a lash-out type of person at all. It's all talk, unless they were in front of me, and then stand back everyone else if you don't want blood on your shirts because some of the words I'd have to say to them would have that effect. *snuggles Lance* Love the boy so much. It kills me every time there's a setback as far as the flight, the whole deal with On the Line breaks my heart in more ways than I can express, and just the general tragic hero thing he's come to personify makes me ache. Such a smart, funny, savvy boy, and yet. Grr.