Crack!Fic!
Sep. 17th, 2003 07:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
aruanAs anyone in their right mind would, I will disavow any responsibility for this in the future. I warned ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
isilya, though this is by no means her fault.
*
Screaming girls weren't exactly novel in his line of work anymore, but the ones that woke Lonnie sounded terrified.
He barely managed to get a shirt over his head before bolting into the hotel hallway. They'd reserved the entire floor so at least no one was in the process of calling anyone. Yet.
Walking along the corridor, Lonnie tried to pick out which room the wailing had come from. The sounds seemed to be everywhere though, frantic and echoing all around him in the otherwise silent morning.
A movement to his left caught Lonnie's eye. When he turned he saw a girl had thrown open the door at the far end of the hall. Lance's room. She was still holding the knob, her petite frame shaking badly enough that Lonnie could tell from where he stood at the opposite end.
He put his hands up as he began to walk toward her slowly, not wanting to scare her any more. "It's okay, miss" he said, trying his best to sound soothing. His mind worked frantically. It was policy to have anyone invited back out before wake-up, but Lonnie hadn't been in charge of that last night.
Except.
Lonnie froze. He remembered why. The boys hadn't gone out last night. Long day of travel, rushed soundcheck, huge show, all of them walking like they were already half asleep as they made their way onto the buses. And he'd helped sweep the rooms, of course. So how had she...
Suddenly the door adjacent to Lance's opened as well and another girl stepped out. She looked shaken, too, disheveled, her eyes darting around in panic. Lonnie was close enough to see her do a double take upon spotting the blonde who had come out of Lance's room.
There was a moment of absolute stillness as the girls turned to each other before their faces visibly blanched even more and then they were both off, screaming again.
"Ladies, please!" Lonnie shouted. He felt bad but he couldn't deal with this situation without a minute to figure out what was going on. It seemed to help though - at least they quieted down, the blonde one whimpering softly as the redhead from Joey's room stood silently looking at Lonnie, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Are you all right?" Lonnie asked, looking between them.
He was still confused. They didn't look injured, but Lonnie would never expect any of the guys to get violent, especially not with a girl. They didn't look like the girls any of them usually picked up when they went out, either - the one from Lance's room had been particularly surprising. Their hair was unusually short, their features familiar in a sort of resemblance that Lonnie didn't want to examine too closely. His job was to take care of things and look the other way afterward. "Look, ladies, I'm sorry, someone was supposed to escort you out last night. If you would follow me, I'll take you down to a car so you can get..."
The redhead burst out laughing, which actually came out more like a choked sob at first. "Lonnie, you think we're..."
The blonde one was giggling as well now, a deep, desperate sound. Her arms had come around her frame, hugging herself as she slumped against the paisley wallpaper.
Just then, Chris' door swung open with enough force to hear a crack as it connected with the wall. "What the fuck is--"
"Uh, Chris, you..." the blonde started, discreetly dropping her eyes to the carpeting.
Lonnie cast her an odd glance before looking back at the girl standing in Chris' doorway, her face flushing red - she was shirtless. "Fuck!" she bellowed, throwing an arm across herself and pulling the door closed again.
"Chris?" Lonnie asked still staring at the door, now a little high-pitched himself.
But before the blonde had a chance to answer, Justin stepped into the hall, mid-stretch, halfway into a yawn. "What the hell, guys?" Justin's head was tilted back, eyes still halfway closed, hand reaching down to scratch.
They flew open then, her head snapping down fast enough to cause whiplash. The view of her crotch, however, was blocked by the generous swell of her chest. She looked back up at them, and Lonnie would've braced himself for more shrieking if he didn't feel quite so paralyzed from the shock of dawning realization. "What'd you-- who-- is this some kind of--" she stammered, grabbing at her T-shirt, coming awake in the span of those few seconds and backing against the wall, scooting away from them.
The blonde - Lance, Lonnie tried to force himself to think but it really wasn't happening yet - pushed off the wall and started to approach Justin. "J, listen to me, just calm down." If anything, her voice made Justin more frantic. She reached her doorway again, somehow managing to fumble it shut.
"Well, fuck," said the redhe-- Joey, Lonnie corrected. No, still not happening.
"Yeah," Lance said, letting her hand drop and leaning against the wall again. They had a moment of silence before she sprang back up. "What about JC?" she asked, looking at Lonnie expectantly, who eventually managed a bewildered shrug. He hadn't seen JC yet but frankly, nothing would surprise him at this point.
The three of them ran down the hall, Lonnie managing the presence of mind to not get hung up on the newly delicate hand with Lance's rings on it as he gave her the master keycard.
JC was still fast asleep in a tangle of blanket and sheets, but they could all see how the white tee pulled across his chest, no mistaking what was underneath. Lance sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Lonnie, who was still a little out of the realm of coherence, kept glancing between the three of them.
"Let him sleep," she finally said. She took Lonnie's bicep, which looked almost obscene under her light grip and led him back out into the hall.
Joey closed the door softly behind them and fell against it lightly. "Well, fuck" she said.
"Yeah," Lance said.
"Guys?" Lonnie ventured, taking a deep swallow of air. Both pairs of eyes turned to him, solemn now, followed by nods.
It was only 8:07 in the morning, but Lonnie didn't think he'd ever needed a drink this badly.
*
It began like this:
isilya: (posts a snippet of her current WIP)
gjstruthseeker: wait, *JC* writes bad porn?
Jules: that's so unfortunate
Jules: and almost mischaracterizing ;-)
isilya: Dude, Digital Getdown??
isilya: OMIGOD
isilya: JC is a femslasher!!
isilya: Some Girls Dance With Women
isilya: *dies laughing*
Jules: ahahaha!
Jules: heh
Jules: :-)
Jules: he likes to watch, too, which is an interesting theme in and of itself
Jules: i see him as very magnanimous about sex
isilya: lol
isilya: I'm sure there would be orgasms all around
Jules: and that's as it should be
Jules: he'd turn all of Backstreet into girls!
isilya: DUDE
Jules: why just do one member when you can mess with the lives of five?
isilya: I love you!
Jules: :-)
Jules: and also, if you don't use that idea, i might write it myself
Jules: because yo, that's comedy
As you can see, the rest is no fault of hers.
isilya, though this is by no means her fault.Screaming girls weren't exactly novel in his line of work anymore, but the ones that woke Lonnie sounded terrified.
He barely managed to get a shirt over his head before bolting into the hotel hallway. They'd reserved the entire floor so at least no one was in the process of calling anyone. Yet.
Walking along the corridor, Lonnie tried to pick out which room the wailing had come from. The sounds seemed to be everywhere though, frantic and echoing all around him in the otherwise silent morning.
A movement to his left caught Lonnie's eye. When he turned he saw a girl had thrown open the door at the far end of the hall. Lance's room. She was still holding the knob, her petite frame shaking badly enough that Lonnie could tell from where he stood at the opposite end.
He put his hands up as he began to walk toward her slowly, not wanting to scare her any more. "It's okay, miss" he said, trying his best to sound soothing. His mind worked frantically. It was policy to have anyone invited back out before wake-up, but Lonnie hadn't been in charge of that last night.
Except.
Lonnie froze. He remembered why. The boys hadn't gone out last night. Long day of travel, rushed soundcheck, huge show, all of them walking like they were already half asleep as they made their way onto the buses. And he'd helped sweep the rooms, of course. So how had she...
Suddenly the door adjacent to Lance's opened as well and another girl stepped out. She looked shaken, too, disheveled, her eyes darting around in panic. Lonnie was close enough to see her do a double take upon spotting the blonde who had come out of Lance's room.
There was a moment of absolute stillness as the girls turned to each other before their faces visibly blanched even more and then they were both off, screaming again.
"Ladies, please!" Lonnie shouted. He felt bad but he couldn't deal with this situation without a minute to figure out what was going on. It seemed to help though - at least they quieted down, the blonde one whimpering softly as the redhead from Joey's room stood silently looking at Lonnie, her eyes bright with unshed tears. "Are you all right?" Lonnie asked, looking between them.
He was still confused. They didn't look injured, but Lonnie would never expect any of the guys to get violent, especially not with a girl. They didn't look like the girls any of them usually picked up when they went out, either - the one from Lance's room had been particularly surprising. Their hair was unusually short, their features familiar in a sort of resemblance that Lonnie didn't want to examine too closely. His job was to take care of things and look the other way afterward. "Look, ladies, I'm sorry, someone was supposed to escort you out last night. If you would follow me, I'll take you down to a car so you can get..."
The redhead burst out laughing, which actually came out more like a choked sob at first. "Lonnie, you think we're..."
The blonde one was giggling as well now, a deep, desperate sound. Her arms had come around her frame, hugging herself as she slumped against the paisley wallpaper.
Just then, Chris' door swung open with enough force to hear a crack as it connected with the wall. "What the fuck is--"
"Uh, Chris, you..." the blonde started, discreetly dropping her eyes to the carpeting.
Lonnie cast her an odd glance before looking back at the girl standing in Chris' doorway, her face flushing red - she was shirtless. "Fuck!" she bellowed, throwing an arm across herself and pulling the door closed again.
"Chris?" Lonnie asked still staring at the door, now a little high-pitched himself.
But before the blonde had a chance to answer, Justin stepped into the hall, mid-stretch, halfway into a yawn. "What the hell, guys?" Justin's head was tilted back, eyes still halfway closed, hand reaching down to scratch.
They flew open then, her head snapping down fast enough to cause whiplash. The view of her crotch, however, was blocked by the generous swell of her chest. She looked back up at them, and Lonnie would've braced himself for more shrieking if he didn't feel quite so paralyzed from the shock of dawning realization. "What'd you-- who-- is this some kind of--" she stammered, grabbing at her T-shirt, coming awake in the span of those few seconds and backing against the wall, scooting away from them.
The blonde - Lance, Lonnie tried to force himself to think but it really wasn't happening yet - pushed off the wall and started to approach Justin. "J, listen to me, just calm down." If anything, her voice made Justin more frantic. She reached her doorway again, somehow managing to fumble it shut.
"Well, fuck," said the redhe-- Joey, Lonnie corrected. No, still not happening.
"Yeah," Lance said, letting her hand drop and leaning against the wall again. They had a moment of silence before she sprang back up. "What about JC?" she asked, looking at Lonnie expectantly, who eventually managed a bewildered shrug. He hadn't seen JC yet but frankly, nothing would surprise him at this point.
The three of them ran down the hall, Lonnie managing the presence of mind to not get hung up on the newly delicate hand with Lance's rings on it as he gave her the master keycard.
JC was still fast asleep in a tangle of blanket and sheets, but they could all see how the white tee pulled across his chest, no mistaking what was underneath. Lance sighed and ran a hand through her hair. Lonnie, who was still a little out of the realm of coherence, kept glancing between the three of them.
"Let him sleep," she finally said. She took Lonnie's bicep, which looked almost obscene under her light grip and led him back out into the hall.
Joey closed the door softly behind them and fell against it lightly. "Well, fuck" she said.
"Yeah," Lance said.
"Guys?" Lonnie ventured, taking a deep swallow of air. Both pairs of eyes turned to him, solemn now, followed by nods.
It was only 8:07 in the morning, but Lonnie didn't think he'd ever needed a drink this badly.
It began like this:
isilya: (posts a snippet of her current WIP)gjstruthseeker: wait, *JC* writes bad porn?Jules: that's so unfortunate
Jules: and almost mischaracterizing ;-)
isilya: Dude, Digital Getdown??
isilya: OMIGOD
isilya: JC is a femslasher!!
isilya: Some Girls Dance With Women
isilya: *dies laughing*
Jules: ahahaha!
Jules: heh
Jules: :-)
Jules: he likes to watch, too, which is an interesting theme in and of itself
Jules: i see him as very magnanimous about sex
isilya: lol
isilya: I'm sure there would be orgasms all around
Jules: and that's as it should be
Jules: he'd turn all of Backstreet into girls!
isilya: DUDE
Jules: why just do one member when you can mess with the lives of five?
isilya: I love you!
Jules: :-)
Jules: and also, if you don't use that idea, i might write it myself
Jules: because yo, that's comedy
As you can see, the rest is no fault of hers.
