This is not an ode.

[aruan]

My father makes me want to...

-get piercings in places I can't flash to security when they set off metal detectors
-shave off all my hair, get tattoos in all possible visible places, and still land a six-figure job
-take up parachuted free diving off of buildings for fun
-drive my car too fast around icy mountain curves
-heedlessly fuck very random boys in a myriad public places
-scream louder than any human should be capable in a place known for its quietude
-become a lesbian, adopt a child, and prove that I could still live happily ever after
-take up the cause of anarchy and perhaps a firearm and while there, maybe make a new hobby of Russian Roulette

Do anything it takes to dissipate the tight coil of blind rage and utter incredulity his mere presence causes. The things he says make sense in their own way, but the way he goes about saying them is so blood-boilingly infuriating you can't help but want to run in just the opposite direction, even if that means off a cliff.

*makes hot chocolate with lots of marshmallows and a Valium*