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aruanif not exactly for physical support then for abating the emotionally crushing blow of first seeing this, my new dorm room. after all the agony of living off campus, from illegal parking decals to endless bus rides, of the two-month search for a subleasee to take over my apartment, to finally have that one infinitely simplifying element of my life in place and have everything come crashing down in the next second proved to be almost too much.
the place is a disaster. and that's being nice about it. the room itself doesn't look to be more than a cubbyhole; the furniture is just monstrous for the space; the walls look like they haven't been taken a rag to in at least five or six years; i won't even scare you with the sorry state of affairs as far as the carpeting.
and the pitying look of 'we all told you so but wish to god we hadn't been right' on my mother's face was the last straw. here i stood in the midst of what should've been a dream come true for my weary little head and all i felt was the crushing defeat or having gone from making one big mistake only to jump in the swampy bog of a brand new one.
but then my mother disappeared and my mom took over. let's move the cars to the courtyard so we can get your stuff up here quickly. we'll go to wal mart tonight and get rags and cleaning supplies. look, your roommate has a vaccuum, and there's nothing a little windex won't fix about those windows. let's juggle the furniture around and see what we can make of it.
i could've cried with joy.
there's just no expressing what even a sliver of hope can do for a person.
i think i'll make that my goal - to shine a light in the darkness for someone. fight a battle, point out an unconsidered option, discover hidden opportunity, reminding them and myself all the while that the universe and all of creation is in fact, as much as it doesn't seem so most of the time, infinite.
the place is a disaster. and that's being nice about it. the room itself doesn't look to be more than a cubbyhole; the furniture is just monstrous for the space; the walls look like they haven't been taken a rag to in at least five or six years; i won't even scare you with the sorry state of affairs as far as the carpeting.
and the pitying look of 'we all told you so but wish to god we hadn't been right' on my mother's face was the last straw. here i stood in the midst of what should've been a dream come true for my weary little head and all i felt was the crushing defeat or having gone from making one big mistake only to jump in the swampy bog of a brand new one.
but then my mother disappeared and my mom took over. let's move the cars to the courtyard so we can get your stuff up here quickly. we'll go to wal mart tonight and get rags and cleaning supplies. look, your roommate has a vaccuum, and there's nothing a little windex won't fix about those windows. let's juggle the furniture around and see what we can make of it.
i could've cried with joy.
there's just no expressing what even a sliver of hope can do for a person.
i think i'll make that my goal - to shine a light in the darkness for someone. fight a battle, point out an unconsidered option, discover hidden opportunity, reminding them and myself all the while that the universe and all of creation is in fact, as much as it doesn't seem so most of the time, infinite.
