And I laid traps for troubadours

[aruan]

Sick and tired of hearing all these people groan and pout? What is the deal with all the delays, rescheduling, and ever-changing tour dates regarding JC's album? Well, it seems that an elite group of Tinhats (tm) have determined through a highly scientific process that in fact the sole logical conclusion is that blame lies not with the incompetent, profit-seeking business conglomerate, but rather with another member within his very own vocal group! Indeed, this heartless, money-grubbing menace is none other than Justin Timberlake.

But wait! There's more! My esteemed colleague walkingshadow has researched these allegations further and discovered that Justin Timberlake is responsible for not merely JC's (and possibly Britney's, you see Cry Me A River wasn't enough for the spiteful little fucker) strife, but that of all of us puny little second-class citizens of the world.

For you see, Justin Timberlake is the cause of all evil. Global warming was his idea to eventually make it beach weather worldwide. The Crucifiction? He jeered along with the crowd of Romans. He writes computer viruses in the margins of his notebooks and sketches the paths of his next intended natural disaster on cocktail napkins over lunch.

You ask, "But what can I do?" I would like to now call your attention to the icon at the left-hand side of this entry. As you can see, walkingshadow has also provided just the thing to properly convey our rightfully seething emotions. Now you, too, can have one of these nifty icons that come in a variety of styles, colors, and slogans, that represent your particular frustration with the woes Justin Timberlake has wrought upon our lands!

Just follow this link and stake your claim to join the revolution that will seek to spread the word about his wrongdoings and ultimately demote him so he'll no longer be able to abuse his awesome powers.

Look, without_me! Justin may well be on this Earth to absorb (and by default though I'm certain it's not his intention, collectively absolve us all of) sin, because you know we couldn't violate the Good Word well enough alone. While not our Lord, Justin may yet be our Savior! ;) *mwah* You know I tease because I love, baby.


WhatEVER, man.

As for any personal reaction? Basically I was awake late enough last night to watch this begin, and, taking merryish's advice, my response remains "Tinhats!" followed by the prompt closing of the window. Though if I were feeling eloquent about just how profound this bullshit has gotten, dacey has done it very well here.

Comments

[miafeliz.livejournal.com]

So, like Lance isn't the evil one anymore? I followed that link, those icons are hysterical. Gotta love the ability to mock stuff like this.

[without-me.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the shout-out. I am weary unto death, I must say, so perhaps absolution wouldn't be such a bad thing. On the whole, let me just comment that it's astonishing how much less unpleasant mockery is when it's delivered with friendly laughter.

I still maintain that I don't know whether there's truth behind the original assertions, but if extreme and wholly unreasonable conclusions were drawn from them, dude, that's not my deal.

[gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com]

Hee. Lance has indeed been demoted. And thank you - we had a lot of fun making them. It was a much better way to spend the afternoon than writing PoliSci papers and journalism articles or watching Stats lecture. Irresponsibility should always be this fruitful. *g*

[gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com]

The first part of the rumor (the Justin club tour and promoting that) is shaky but okay, maybe plausible (though Dacey makes a very good point about the PopOdyssey tour). It's just so absurd to me to assume that Justin directly had anything to do with any decisions made regarding JC on behalf of Jive. Who are a bunch of turkeys running around with their heads cut off, so Timberlake may well be doing a better job of running things. If he were. *scoff*

[kennedy.livejournal.com]

Evil fucker that Justin. He must be stopped. Where's my whip? ;)

[meinnim.livejournal.com]

For you see, Justin Timberlake is the cause of all evil. Global warming was his idea to eventually make it beach weather worldwide.

Ahahahaha! I was just waiting for someone to bring up global warming. And floods, hurricanes, earthquakes and the California recall. All.his.fault.

It's amazing what a 22-year old can do when he sets his mind to it. Then again, he used to talk about taking it to the next level. This is the next level.

[gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com]

He's a right wicked brat, like a some kind of spiteful modern-day mythological figure, maybe Pan or Chaos. I bet he'd fuck with the Earth's rotation if he weren't only human living out his punishment here. Doesn't mean he has to stop having fun at the expense of his closest friends (or are they?) much less our expense.

Wow. Done being quite so bitter about all this insanity. :) Glad you enjoyed.

[gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com]

Then again, he used to talk about taking it to the next level.

Ahaha! It all makes sense now! He's been coyly hinting at his plans all this time, and laughing at everyone behind their backs when they're asking him about future collaborations and new musical styles. Puny, small-minded mortals.

What.Ever.