Dec. 9th, 2002

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There are things that make me happy without fail: someone complimenting my hair or outfit. Good coffee. Pretty pictures. Eloquence, others' as well as my own. Seeing my breath in the air. The smell of my Body Shop Nut Body Butter. The cheer Christmas lights bring to any landscape, even the drab, barren and worn frame of my otherwise lovely bay window. Unremorseful purchases. White chocolate. Finding solutions. Staying up without feeling tired. Rediscovering the advantages of not having chewed my nails for the past few weeks.

Just right now though, as if you couldn't tell, it's the prospect of New York. Every time I even think about the 11:35 flight I'll be taking out of Orlando International this Thursday or seeing RENT for the (technically) fifth time on Friday night or walking down the spacious sidewalks of Broadway or ice skating at Rockefeller Center or seeing one of the most incredible places in all the world swept up in the throes and trappings of the holiday season, I get this tightness in my belly, like when a rollercoaster goes over a rise and then plummets down again at a high speed. My breath catches and there's an equally involuntary smile. My heart clenches and my eyes mist, wet from almost-tears of excitement and the exhilaration of pure joy. Anticipation is pretty fucking cool, but it's the taxi ride from JFK as the Manhattan skyline comes into view that'll be the real challenge to keep from pushing me over the edge. It's a good thing Diana's amused by my fangirlishness.

Heh. So much for the question of love at first sight.


Three of the girls Lance knew in Clinton dropped out of college to get married. Two others never went because their boyfriends joined the military to get out of Clinton and the girls went, too, usually pregnant, got married and lived on the base. Four girls in what would have been his graduating class didn't get to walk across the stage because they were in their third trimester.

Lance's mom still calls with these stories like Lance needs the warning, like he's gonna knock up some German girl if he's not scared silly.

He gets up with the sun and watches Justin sleep beside him, bleached blonde curls crushed and bent at strange angles, dark eyelashes lying still against his pretty face. Justin is pretty and he's naked in Lance's bed as the sun comes up, and Lance hates all those nice girls he knew back before he met Justin because they make him think he's too young to fall in love for real.

-Tiffany Rawlins, suite: justin blue eyes
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But I've got a whole liter and a half of High Tide-flavored Gatorade that I'm drinking straight from the bottle and no real reason to sleep, so, thinking.

The Puppies:
-Can Lance smile like that all the time? Funny thing, I've seen more real smiles on him since he's been back than at a lot of events before, though the same goes for the trend of evident lushness, so let's not formulate any theories, shall we?

-My god, JC is a ridiculously pretty man. Fucking sexy bitch. On another note, he's one of those people who's so secure in who he is and what he's doing that he *truly* doesn't care about the rest, which is mostly bullshit anyway. Which just makes him all the more sexier, dammit. And that song and the emphatic dancing bound to ensue and yeah, I might be a little in love.

-When I was making my bookstore rounds yesterday, I actually remember thinking 'wouldn't it be cool if they had occasion to put Justin on the cover of The Advocate,' and lo and behold, ask and you shall receive. I do hope he's doing well out in the wilds of Tennessee. Inopportune doesn't even begin to describe it.

Justin: Suffice it to say, I have amazing people around me and some of them are gay.
STO(k): He's usually right behind me, mostly to the left. Blond guy? Weird eyebrows? Gives head like you wouldn't imagine, man.

-Joweee! In five days! Meep! I actually feel a lot like Mark tonight, sitting here bundled in my coat, with no heat despite the less than 55 degree weather outside, at loose ends and trying to tweak my technique. Heh.

-Chris is growing the mohawk back, and for that I couldn't be more supportive. Punky hair rules!


The Denizens of Smallville:
John Glover ruffled Tom Welling's coif back into perfection! Michael spotted smoking a cigarette on-set! Real buildings in the real downtown of a real city being redecorated for the ever-devious purposes of Luthorcorp! Set stories are always so much fun. As soon as I get that passport and someone nutty enough, I'm driving to Canada, baybee.

The Friends:
Cookies to Sheila, the gift of telekinesis to Nia, Angela will get hers soon enough and we can cry and be amused together, coffee with Miranda in the morrow, good tidings to Jon, sex in a box with a pretty bow for Jack, and the happiest of holidays to all.

The Week In Advance:
Monday:
-Nike advertisement
-keep aprised of the media blitz and program VCR until the 19th
-gloves and layers is the name of the game
-laundry, dishes, vacuuming
Tuesday:
-organize CDs, videotapes
-Psych final
-outline gameplan itinerary for New York
Wednesday:
-Dinosaurs final
-preferred Literature paper due date
Thursday:
-get on a plane to New York City, whoot!
-am I brave enough to brave checking out Madam Tussaud's on opening day of their immortal tributes to the boys?
Friday:
-TRL or bust, baby, Justin will be in the house! And then FYE afterward. And JC might still ostensibly be in town! Hot damn.
-Joey in RENT! I am positively a-tingle.
To Work On In the Midst of All That:
-Secret Santa fic - either forgo porn or restructure back to third person because that just.doesn't.work in second person

None of the above necessarily in any order of importance. Definitely not if I want to be back to do more state-funded slacking next semester.


Real Person Slash is like prostitution. Wait! Before you toss the match on the pyre, I mean that it's here to stay, so people may as well accept it. Morality's inappropriate. And I'm not saying this because that Lance guy is pretty yummy. I'm not. No.
-Thamiris (some abbreviated version of this *will* be made into a T-shirt)

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