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They say you learn something new every day. Mine's only halfway over, and I'm ahead of the curve by
Today I found out that not only am I an adopted child, I only have one legal guardian.
Huh.
The situation is not quite as shocking as it seems, but they still should've told me to sit down for the news.
First off, my parents were only married for a year, if that. Hungary was under Communist rule until 1989, and under their policies, a married couple could only own one property. My parents were married in 1979 then divorced in 1980 when they bought an apartment in Budapest. I was born out of wedlock in 1982, which meant my father had to formally petition to adopt me.
Surprise number one.
About six months after that, he got into some trouble with the government over his business. Essentially, he would've had to spend a year in a prison work camp if not for a loophole - anyone who is the sole parent/caretaker of a child is exempt from that condition and must only serve parole. So my parents went to court again, where my mother apparently signed away all of her rights to me.
Surprise number two.
I understand the reasons for all of it, I honestly do, and they were the best decisions they could've made for our family, but wow, you know? I think the only part that's bothering me is the fact that my mother never petitioned to regain joint custody of me. I know it's all paperwork and formalities and that she loves me more than anything in the world, but in a small, insecurities-flaring way (I have Belonging Issues), it's a bit disconcerting nonetheless.
This explains a lot about all the visitation paranoia in my childhood. I wish people would have sense enough to explain these things to their children. Knowing is much better than guessing at the worst.
Huh.
The situation is not quite as shocking as it seems, but they still should've told me to sit down for the news.
First off, my parents were only married for a year, if that. Hungary was under Communist rule until 1989, and under their policies, a married couple could only own one property. My parents were married in 1979 then divorced in 1980 when they bought an apartment in Budapest. I was born out of wedlock in 1982, which meant my father had to formally petition to adopt me.
Surprise number one.
About six months after that, he got into some trouble with the government over his business. Essentially, he would've had to spend a year in a prison work camp if not for a loophole - anyone who is the sole parent/caretaker of a child is exempt from that condition and must only serve parole. So my parents went to court again, where my mother apparently signed away all of her rights to me.
Surprise number two.
I understand the reasons for all of it, I honestly do, and they were the best decisions they could've made for our family, but wow, you know? I think the only part that's bothering me is the fact that my mother never petitioned to regain joint custody of me. I know it's all paperwork and formalities and that she loves me more than anything in the world, but in a small, insecurities-flaring way (I have Belonging Issues), it's a bit disconcerting nonetheless.
This explains a lot about all the visitation paranoia in my childhood. I wish people would have sense enough to explain these things to their children. Knowing is much better than guessing at the worst.
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