aruan | 2007 Vancouver SG1/SGA Convention

Oh, Ronon. You sum up this post so well.

Tour Martin Gero guided! Seriously, the entire weekend - and my god, I won't even go into what percentage of my salary this thing cost - was worth this. The first thing we saw was the Atlantis gatrium, which is no less impressive in person. The set is beautiful and huge, so the control tower scenes aren't filmed in different spaces or anything. It was awesome to stand in the middle of it and look around - had a little bit of that Rising awe to it, especially with the perma-gate, I think is what Gero called it - there was a screen behind the gate projecting the event horizon. I just - really, I didn't even make it upstairs, just kind of stood in the middle and kept looking around, at the staircase with the backlit Ancient writing, up at the infamous balcony, into Weir's office and the control room and through the weird side-opening doors into the conference room. I won't lie to you, it was a little hard to breathe.

Gero wound us through some random corridors, the infirmary, a random quarter that's been everything from Michael's room to an observation area for med lab patients, a lounge area with small white square chairs, but sadly no walls with water inside. We also saw the huge platform that Ronon and John jogged on during Conversion and that Sheppard prowled along during Storm/Eye (episodes that Gero mentions lovingly). He talked about the hugely collaborative writing proces for every script, that the ideas and hammered out as a team, then written by one or two people, but that he usually gives most every script a "McKay pass" before it's finished to get his voice right.

He took us through some generic-looking ancient ruins (the entire enormous set carved out of a single block of styrofoam, apparently) that will be used for one of the SG1 movies. Then it was into the guts of what has been used for pretty much every warship from the Daedalus onward. Just change some wall panels and there you go. Then it was onto the puddlejumper, which is not nearly as claustrophobic as Flanigan makes it out to be. I do see how it's rather silly to act in though, especially sitting where Flanigan sits (!!! Our tour photo op was as jumper pilots.) He must have fantastic posture (at least while flying the thing) and long arms to reach all the controls.

We ended where it all began - through the corridors of the SGC and into the gateroom. No words at all for how incredible it felt to walk through those hallways (very narrow!) and round the corner to find myself in front of the gate. We also got to go into the control room, with the gate computers you can't actually type on and the clear map of stars, and the third-floor conference room, and Hammond's office (sadly sans red phone). At the end, we were gathered in a room that had one of the red alarm buttons on the wall. I eyed it and eyed it, and the two guys standing next to it looked at me funny, then turned and looked at the wall, then turned back and totally egged me to do it. The argument that finally won me over was that I'd regret it forever if I didn't. And honestly, it would've been worth it to get in trouble because really, how many of us get to press The Red Button? So I marched across the room and did it - alas, nothing at all happened. However, this incident will become significant later.

Yeah, it's all pretend and just a TV show and blah blah blah, but wow, y'all. Wow. To be part of it for even a moment was amazing.

Despite the high bar, the non-set shenanigans held their own.

Hewlett! Honestly, I don't remember much about Rob Cooper (wrote series-ending episodes for the past four seasons, honestly believing the show would be canceled, but not this time around) or John Smith (his great-grandfather found the actual crystal skull in Belize!) discussions, because after them was David Hewlett, who I was pleased to be having the pleasure of for the first time.

He looked like a baby bird had made a nest of his hair and a high school punk kid dressed him. They brought Mars, and the discussion about him somehow led to Major Lorne being called a "classy bitch," which derailed into a squeaky impersonation of Flanigan. There was a girl who started with, "I have a question about McKay," which prompted an innuendo-laden "So do I" from Hewlett. Another gem being that, "I have a theory that the writers don't actually write, they just come up with new ways to torture me." He was a bit put off by Kate's unholy affection for Chris Judge, but after a little standing next to him that turned into "I find myself strangely attracted to Chris." Another query was halted before the girl even got a word out by David's "Oh, you've got Sheppard on your shirt. That's not gonna come out." Then, to wrap, he had us field the question about which Dr. Who was his favorite (Tom Baker). Hewlett! <3 He was darling, a little jazzed from his round of cappucinos that morning but clever and completely charming.

The threesome of ultimate hilarity So, someone decided to make a Carmen Argenziano/Teryl Rothery/Cliff Simon sandwich of a panel, and after all the stripping and lapdancing was done, I don't think anyone who was in that room could thank that person enough.

Someone came to microphone and brought up that Steve Bacic had been persuaded to take his shirt off after $1,000 donation to Make a Wish was raised from the audience that morning, and would Cliff be so generous. What followed was nothing short of pandemonium - fangirls waving around everything from toonies to $100 bills, Teryl coming around the collect it all and stuffing it into her bra as Cliff struck poses on the stage, then even took off his shirt (not bad at all, 60 years old or not!) and we all screamed and laughed our fool heads off.

But oh, how the best was yet to come. A girl asked Teryl to sing something, I believe, and mentioned her friend in the audience putting her up to it. Well, Teryl demanded the guy front and center, and sat him in the throne of power. After a bit of stumbling because he didn't drink and a little acting coaching by Cliff on how to look alluring from across the room, the sound people fired up "Hey, Big Spender" and Teryl went to town. The setup was her walking into a club and seeing Audience Member Rick in the throne of power, and from that she did a fantastically scandalous (even if you're not the prim, only-a-triangle-of-throat-showing Janet Fraiser) routine. Rick even took a few pulls of the wine she'd put in his hand (that Cliff had contributed his own to) as she, um, danced around and all up and down him. But he was hilarious throughout, giving cheesy thumbs-up and staggering drunkenly as she made advances, and generally being fabulous and making the whole thing so funny, Carmen and Cliff were nearly falling out of their chairs along with the rest of us. My face HURT from smiling by the time everyone took their seats again.

More than $1,300 later, we wrapped the entire production with "I'm Too Sexy," which more or less became the official theme song of the convention. And, I suspect, these conventions to come. I can't imagine how this won't be known to everyone as the Get Naked Convention.