aruan | somebody pinch me (Reply)

Fall is here, and last night all I could think was that I didn't want to be crawling under my comforter because I was legitimately, not just obscenely low thermostat settings, cold.

I suddenly wanted watermelon and crashing ocean surf and an apartmentful of nothing but my friends, sitting out on the balcony sipping whatever insane online bartender concoction tasted the least objectionable, just enjoying the balmy summer air. I wanted endless freedom and horizons that stretched forever because there's even less impeding the view over the ocean than the already flat mainland. I wanted magic back. School seems to sap those things right out. There are responsibilities, stark against party plans and pot luck dinners. It stains everything like blood or coffee - you might get out the initial darkness of the stain, but there's this oddly off-color, yellowish spot that remains no matter how soon you get the clothes into the wash.

I think this is why sleep's been such a sketch thing for me lately. There's no real rest when obligations are afoot.

I don't want to be obligated.

I do want to live in the real world.

By all accounts, being fucked should be more fun than this.