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"You look better." I have a fever of close to 100 degrees, have been hacking up bits of my lungs pretty regularly for the past ten minutes and haven't seen direct sunlight in about three and a half months. Sure.

"You've lost weight, haven't you?" What he actually meant by 'better.' Oh, but any exercise-pertinent questions should be directed at my brother, the resident expert, owing to his two-month bout of weightlifting.

Ahem. *clears throat*

[rant] If I want you to comment on my body, I'll wear hoochie shirts and ass-baring miniskirts so you could see exactly where I lost those six pounds and the tone my leg muscles are nicely developing. [/rant]

Not that you'd care because, well, I'm still not Cindy Crawford. Come back and speak to you when Sports Illustrated comes knocking, until then, toil away in your meaningless little existence with your tragically flawed writing.

As the good father that he is, I'm now the proud owner of a psychology manual on how and why everything that constitutes life's affirmations and self-esteem comes from a happy, meaningful, contractually-bound heterosexual union. Because obviously, my priorities at this point in my life are skewed if I'm not doing everything within my power to land a husband.

I can't change lanes properly because I glance in my blind spot before not swerving but making a calculated drift. Apparently, I've driven that past incident-free 50,000+ miles by grace and a flock of angels alone.

God bless him.

To anyone I had made dinner plans with in the next few days, please don't take it personally if I call in dead.

Date: November 28th, 2002 07:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xalxuffasch.livejournal.com
If you want to get him, next dinner you have with him ask him if you can bring a date so that the two of you can be introduced. Then tell your father the guy is an art major. Apparently that never fails to get the deer-in-headlights look.

PS

Date: November 28th, 2002 07:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xalxuffasch.livejournal.com
What kind of flowers do you like, so just in case you die and I come to see you anyways I can know what flowers to have at your viewing.

Re: PS

Date: November 30th, 2002 11:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com
Aaaw, that's sweet. I think.

Hm, flowers. I like the orange roses. Those white ones with the long, skinny stems and likewise elegant petals - orchids maybe? Something purple too, just to make sure it all clashes. :)

Not that there'll be a viewing. Far too morbid and also, eeuw. Cremation and space for me too, please. Shuffling off mortal coil, though it somehow leaves me feeling vaguely guilty for not perpetuating the circle of life. Like I'm cheating the worms or something...

Date: November 30th, 2002 11:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com
The shameless amounts of pleasure I'd derive from seeing his reaction would probably ruin the effect. Thanks, but I'll see about wreaking havoc with him some other way. I don't think he's met all of my *female* friends yet... ;)

Date: November 28th, 2002 08:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] silentfire.livejournal.com
believe me, sweetie- i know all about the patented parental look-your-best tips, complete with guilt-inducing commentary ("but you're such a pretty girl- don't you want to look nice?").

i think you're lovely just as you are, but congrats on having your efforts pay off :)

happy thanksgiving!

Date: November 30th, 2002 11:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gjstruthseeker.livejournal.com
Thank you, thank you, and damn straight about making efforts pay off because we work our butts off, no question there.

Hope you had a happy turkey day too, hon.

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