Stay cool, my Canadian babies!

Took a three-hour nap this afternoon, which is about double what I slept all last night. I am so awake the wrong hours.

The boy was first angry, then crying, then resigned, then willing to bargain and now passive aggressive about my breaking up with him. There was slamming of doors and offensive driving and blasting of Dream On somewhere in there, too. Dude, seriously though, I am not that great a catch. It's masochism at this point, really.

Rec: Honor Bound by Amber. I won't even feign coherence here, nor try to pull out any one quote. This is by far one of the most beautiful stories I've ever read, anywhere, of all time and space. I love how her Chris sees her JC, the way she describes her scenery and the genuineness of her characters' emotions and dialogue. She brought alive a whole world I knew nothing about and put these two familiar but wholly recontextualized boys into it and wove something incredibly moving. Go read.

Also, I've totally jumped on the Paris/Nick. The whole "endless prom night" thing has been enchantingly sweet, and they shop for Cookie Crisp together! Theirloveissopartofthiscompletebreakfast!

The new Pennsylvania tourist board ads reworked toward the gay community are absolutely priceless. Betsy Ross stitching the pride flag and Ben Franklin flying a rainbow-colored kite - he discovered gay electricity! Teehee. The Best Week Ever rocks hardcore, yo.

Aaw, look at all the Canadians loving on Conan! Also, that man's hockey game is one of the saddest things in all creation. His scruffy jaw, however? Sexass to the utmost. Also, the way he keeps saying offhand comments then looking out into the audience shocked? Socute! And his suit is made of a shiny purple material. I do love this man something fierce.

"Shut up, you're a fabulous catch."
-Miranda, and the thing is, you'd think she'd be obligated to say that as the designated best friend, yet she tells me no lies and laughs at me if that's what's called for. *hug* Thanks for tonight, babe.

This is what you get for Miranda not being online.

Y'all get to suffer my explosion of JC love instead.

Oh my god! Oh my god! I love him like life itself right now. That Three Questions segment he taped for MTV is one of the best bits of footage ever. Ever!

Confirmation of the voyeur kink!

He'd like to have seen The Doors!

"Choose one and why? Yeah, right, I'm an artist, I get to do all three!" His indecision is so cute to watch. "You can keep the drugs, kids." And the whole "you can have sex if you're safe, it's okay." Aaah! It's that final "it's okay" that does it to me. I love that his voice is so infinitely expressive, even when he's just woken up and given his laid-back attitude. And the laugh at the end, with the guy off-camera saying "It's true," to the whole 'rock & roll = adrenaline = sex' statement! Gah!

I don't know what to do with this boy, honestly. He's just too precious.

Welcome to another riveting episode of As the Newsroom Turns.

The office is in utter chaos tonight. One of the copy editors quit this past weekend, and they haven't found anyone to come in to cover tonight, so it's two of us working on a sizeable paper with Staci, a staff writer, bravely stepping up to pinch hit. It was fun to train her in using the headline writing program and the mechanics of writing them.

Tomorrow's paper will be interesting. We have an ex-president of the Interfraternity Council tearing the organization apart for our guest column, an item about a Disney worker squished by a float in front of who knows how many tourists, and because Emily (who's actually a staff writer, too, but is covering for the copy desk chief tonight) loves me, I got the article about the Congressional hearings involving the FCC and, what else, the halftime show.

Because you see, it's not like we have a budget crisis or are fighting two wars; our population is gainfully employed and certainly not homeless, our children are getting a quality education, and the economy is booming like never before. So of course there's nothing more important Congress ought be doing than holding hearings on Janet Jackson's right breast and the coming apocalypse it heralds.

( The lead that shocked and awed an office: )

*curls into a ball* There's no crying in journalism. There's no crying in journalism. *rocks back and forth*

In better news, I'm learning all kinds of new words tonight:

intransigent - adj. refusing to moderate a position, especially an extreme position; uncompromising
shibboleth - n. a word or pronunciation that distinguishes people of one group or class from those of another; a catchword.
excoriate - v. 1. To tear or wear off the skin of; abrade (see chafe) 2. To censure strongly; denounce (As in, Congress excoriated Viacom chief Mel Karmazin for more than two hours during a pair of hearings on Capitol Hill Wednesday. *snicker* I love puns, yo.)

Laura said she's going to McDonalds, and the "I'm lovin' it" rolled of my tongue shamefully fast. Damn you and your catchy jingle, too, Timberlake! *shakes fist*

I need icons for despondence, journalism, and an ever-useful 'Bitch, please.' Miranda, we'll confer later.

"What did I tell you about numbers divisible by thirteen?!"
-Debbie, production chief

Sometimes, all there is to do is laugh.

My headlines for the FCC hearings article so far:

Viacom chief chafing from Congressional hearings
FCC's panties in a wad over brassiere "malfunction"
Too many have nothing to do with their lives
War, debt, jobs? Jackson's breast issue of the day
Halftime incident has politicians taking a closer look
From "malfunction" to Congress: one breast's story

And the night is yet young!

However, the copy desk plus Cameron are heading to Leonardo's for dinner now, and hopefully, digesting will quell my acid reflux-inducing indignation enough to write a headline actually suitable for publication tomorrow.

This is interesting (read: alternately uproarious and headache-inducing).

Though from a journalistic standpoint this time. From the Washington Post's Web site:

CBS Gave 90 Million an Eyeful
By Lisa de Moares
Tuesday, February 3, 2004

( ... )

In their performance, Jackson, looking very "Matrix: Revolutions"-like in some sort of leather bustier thing with shingles attached, and Timberlake, in his usual grungy baggy chinos and T-shirt, sang and danced their way through "Rock Your Body" -- Timberlake's tune from his first solo album. He urged Jackson in song to "go ahead, girl, just do that [heinie] shaking thing you do," while following Jackson around the stage like an old hound after a bitch in heat.

For the record, we are allowed to print the word 'ass' (same policy as saying it on television). The crass hypocrisy of that single paragraph made my blood boil. After I was done laughing, that is. What, you can't quote a song lyric but you can pass judgment on someone you don't have the slightest claim to knowing? Either be prude or journalistically ethical, but don't straddle that fence.

( ... )

[Janet] also was unprepared to discuss MTV's Web site, which immediately following the Jackson performance featured prominently an item headlined "Janet Gets Nasty!," bragging that "jaws across the country hit the carpet at exactly the same time, You know what we're talking about . . . Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake and a kinky finale that rocked the Super Bowl to its core," and noting that "fans of Janet Jackson and her pasties were definitely in the right place."

"I'm sorry I was not on top of the Web site at the time. I am now responsible for five networks," McGrath said, adding, "All I can tell you is we are all sorry for the way it turned out and it was never our intention to have this kind of conversation with you."

More proof that no one expected backlash over this. Interesting, and certainly a damning piece of evidence for the conspiracy theory. MTV forgets its audience is of the young, liberal, sexually prime bent, whereas America is a population made up largely of conservative Baby Boomers. Interesting that CBS signed off on it though - maybe they were thinking the way we were all along. Sometimes, a breast is just a breast. Unfortunately for common sense everywhere, this wasn't one of them.

( ... )

"The moment did not conform to CBS broadcast standards," the network added.

Conforming to CBS broadcast standards were Kid Rock's performance, in which he gave a big "hey" to "all you bastards at the IRS," as well as "hookers all tricking out in Hollywood" and "my hoods of the world misunderstood," while wearing an American flag that had a hole cut in it for his head to fit through. Also conforming to CBS broadcast standards was Nelly's performance, in which he informed the stadium audience that he was "like good gracious [heinie] bodacious" while grabbing onto his crotch and holding on for dear life...

Thank you to someone else who pointed these things out. Objectionable material wasn't just in the stereotype-reinforcing commercials or the inherent violence of the sport - it was all over the rest of the halftime performance, too. Janet's breast is such an arbitrary line in the sand, it's laughable.

( ... )

I have no further comment, as I'm simultaneously laughing and shaking my head too hard. Although I would like to state once more that we should remember that there are few things more natural in this world than our bodies when people are pleading we "think of the children!"

In more office news, my favorite headline of the night: Ms. Jackson got nasty; Congress wants justification. Teehee. I'm clever. Or something.

[ETA: More! Janet justified? Congress holds halftime hearings and Janet deemed unjustified in Congressional hearings. Also, off a colleague's suggestion: Hearings probe justification of halftime breast reveal. Yeah, it was good times all around tonight.]